I am starting to really enjoy cooking at the moment and hoping I continue to feel this excited about cooking new foods. The last two days I've cooked three types of soup including French onion soup which was so tasty. I've also cooked fish pie for the kids and sausage & mash for lunch yesterday, along with chilli beef for stuffed peppers tonight. I made the effort to make the cheese, leek & onion pasties from the hairy dieters (bikers) cookbook too as for 6-7pp they are so worth it. Oh and I cooked some cookies with my 3 year old this afternoon which are mostly for him and his little brother. I've also got a shopping list ready for my husband to get a load more ingredients tonight to do yet more cooking!
Its been so lovely and I can't believe I'm actually excited to look up recipes and cook new things. I really feel this may be a turning point for me as although I had made some lifestyle changes cooking from scratch was one of the biggest changes I needed to make. Before weight watchers as a family we relied far too much on processed or ready made foods, takeaways, eating out and fast food. I was far more inclined to cook healthy meals for my kids but they'd often be simple healthy meals and too much of the same from day to day. I just didn't have the enthusiasm to cook before and so I'm really hoping I can maintain momentum and make this a new habit. I've also found its much easier to eat within my daily points when I'm cooking from scratch because I can make simple changes when cooking foods that really lower the propoints. It means I've found it quite easy to stick to points the last few days and haven't felt hungry or deprived.
I feel its big step towards an overall lifestyle change. My thoughts are if I change my life enough it will be too hard to go back to my old ways and therefore (in theory) I won't be likely to gain all the weight back even when I do go through the rough patches. Hoping I can form enough new habits that I become a better person all round not just in regards to my unhealthy relationship with food. I'll end this post with one of my favourite quotes at the moment:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
Happy New Year!
Monday, 31 December 2012
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Day 3
I'll this a quick blog as its going to be fairly mundane.... I managed another day completely on track, woohoo!
To help me see a good result on Wednesday I did the following today:
-I cooked a new recipe again (butternut squash risotto which was sooooo yummy)
-Went for a long countryside walk on my own and left the little ones at home with their Daddy. I managed to earn about 6 activity points according to my pedometer. (not to mention the steps that didn't count while I was looking for the bloomin' pedometer which has a habit of getting lost)
- Did some housework which also added up on the pedometer
- Tracked
- Snacked on fruit and saved having a treat until the evening
- Spent time reading various weight loss related stuff on the ww site which has proved very inspiring
The walk was absolutely lovely, it was very windy but not too cold and I found it very enjoyable to be out in the fresh air. I must remember that exercise, fresh air and the beautiful Norfolk countryside help me relax far more than chocolate any day!
Bring day 3 which I might add is already planned with some new recipes to cook including French onion soup for lunch, yum!
To help me see a good result on Wednesday I did the following today:
-I cooked a new recipe again (butternut squash risotto which was sooooo yummy)
-Went for a long countryside walk on my own and left the little ones at home with their Daddy. I managed to earn about 6 activity points according to my pedometer. (not to mention the steps that didn't count while I was looking for the bloomin' pedometer which has a habit of getting lost)
- Did some housework which also added up on the pedometer
- Tracked
- Snacked on fruit and saved having a treat until the evening
- Spent time reading various weight loss related stuff on the ww site which has proved very inspiring
The walk was absolutely lovely, it was very windy but not too cold and I found it very enjoyable to be out in the fresh air. I must remember that exercise, fresh air and the beautiful Norfolk countryside help me relax far more than chocolate any day!
Bring day 3 which I might add is already planned with some new recipes to cook including French onion soup for lunch, yum!
Friday, 28 December 2012
Out of Character
I decided that the only way I could move on from the Christmas indulgence was to get weighed. I would have gone to one of my leaders meetings which she's holding tomorrow morning but I just don't feel like a morning weigh in tomorrow then an evening weigh in on Wednesday would motivate me at all. So I popped down to boots and used their scales to weigh myself. I have absolutely no idea how they compare to the ww scales but according to them I've gained 3.5lbs. I'm really happy with that as I honestly felt like the way I ate I could have gained double or more than that! So I've got 4 more days to make a difference before my actual weigh in. I'm kind of hoping that maybe I could pull a stay the same out the bag but who knows. I'd be happy with a small gain and thrilled with a stay the same or a loss!
As for my blog post last night I did in fact give in to temptation. I think it went along the lines of chocolate, ice cream, more chocolate, more ice cream, a latte and oh just a little more chocolate! I woke up this morning feeling a little annoyed with myself and thinking I'd write yesterday off to start a fresh today. This is my usual tactic when I feel like I've blown it. Well I figured if I want better results I need to start being honest with myself so I tracked my binge. It was a little scary as I used 33pp out of my weekly allowance (shocking behaviour!) but its tracked and its better to be honest with myself. It really does make a nice change not to bury my head in the sand and always look for the fresh start. I ate the points so what odds does it make if I write the bloomin' things down. I think its paid off as I feel very positive today.
I also did something else a little out of character and I cooked! Now I'm not a terrible cook, in fact I'd say I'm ok at cooking and even enjoy it from time to time, so why do I find it so difficult to motivate myself to cook generally?! This is what I was wondering this afternoon when I stood cooking and thoroughly enjoyed it, not so much the clearing up afterwards. I cooked Jambalaya 12pp a portion and Roast butternut squash & red pepper soup which is zero points. Its a good job I enjoyed it as we are so limited on funds for the next month that there will be no takeaways or eating out this month, which I can't help but think is fan-friggin'-tastic given my aims to shift some weight it fits in perfectly. Pity it comes with the annoyance of being skint but never mind, everything passes.
Just got to hope I can keep up this positive outlook and who know's maybe the scales will be feeling kind on Wednesday!
As for my blog post last night I did in fact give in to temptation. I think it went along the lines of chocolate, ice cream, more chocolate, more ice cream, a latte and oh just a little more chocolate! I woke up this morning feeling a little annoyed with myself and thinking I'd write yesterday off to start a fresh today. This is my usual tactic when I feel like I've blown it. Well I figured if I want better results I need to start being honest with myself so I tracked my binge. It was a little scary as I used 33pp out of my weekly allowance (shocking behaviour!) but its tracked and its better to be honest with myself. It really does make a nice change not to bury my head in the sand and always look for the fresh start. I ate the points so what odds does it make if I write the bloomin' things down. I think its paid off as I feel very positive today.
I also did something else a little out of character and I cooked! Now I'm not a terrible cook, in fact I'd say I'm ok at cooking and even enjoy it from time to time, so why do I find it so difficult to motivate myself to cook generally?! This is what I was wondering this afternoon when I stood cooking and thoroughly enjoyed it, not so much the clearing up afterwards. I cooked Jambalaya 12pp a portion and Roast butternut squash & red pepper soup which is zero points. Its a good job I enjoyed it as we are so limited on funds for the next month that there will be no takeaways or eating out this month, which I can't help but think is fan-friggin'-tastic given my aims to shift some weight it fits in perfectly. Pity it comes with the annoyance of being skint but never mind, everything passes.
Just got to hope I can keep up this positive outlook and who know's maybe the scales will be feeling kind on Wednesday!
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Resisting temptation
Its nearly 5pm and I have managed to stay on track today... so far!
The fruit & nut Dairy Milk has been calling me not to mention all the other chocolate, pringles, ice cream and a few other bits of junk food we have in our house at the moment! So far I've managed to resist and stick to my planned meals.
A much as I want to give into temptation I know I will feel better for being in control again. If I can just make it through the day then I'll have officially gotten back on track.
Right off to cook Satay chicken noodles and then once the kids are in bed I'll point a treat I think, I just had to blog to stop myself from raiding the kitchen and remind myself just why I'm doing this. You'd think looking at the dreadful pictures from last Christmas would be enough of a reminder but apparently Chocolate overrides dreadful photo's! Got to keep it together for the rest of the day. I can do it if I want it enough!
The fruit & nut Dairy Milk has been calling me not to mention all the other chocolate, pringles, ice cream and a few other bits of junk food we have in our house at the moment! So far I've managed to resist and stick to my planned meals.
A much as I want to give into temptation I know I will feel better for being in control again. If I can just make it through the day then I'll have officially gotten back on track.
Right off to cook Satay chicken noodles and then once the kids are in bed I'll point a treat I think, I just had to blog to stop myself from raiding the kitchen and remind myself just why I'm doing this. You'd think looking at the dreadful pictures from last Christmas would be enough of a reminder but apparently Chocolate overrides dreadful photo's! Got to keep it together for the rest of the day. I can do it if I want it enough!
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Christmas
I've had a lovely relaxed day with my lovely little family. Our boys have had alot of fun opening their presents and playing with all their new toys. I have taken it upon myself to stuff my face for the last week and you know what I have thoroughly enjoyed it! I know I should possibly be feeling remorse for such terrible eating the last week but I really needed the break.
Part of me wonders if its excuses or I'm in denial but I had fallen into such a rut. The more I tried to stay on track the less I wanted to. I'd stopped wanting it, I wasn't committed any more, I was just going through the motions and hoping my motivation would find me again. Despite the huge gain I will probably face next Wednesday at weigh in I am glad I made the decision to take the pressure off. I decided I would not track or worry about what I was eating until I returned to my weigh in on the 2nd. As it happens I am pretty sick of feeling sick all the time! Its been like a little holiday and its been a nice break to my routine, but that's all it feels like to me. Somehow I know deep down that this isn't like the times before, its not the start of a downward spiral and eventually giving up. I miss my routine and I miss eating healthy food.
My motivation is slowly finding me again and so I will be getting back on track on Thursday giving me a full week to find my feet again before my first weigh in of the new year.
I'm going to break out the cookbooks, plan a weeks worth of meals and stock our house up with healthy food again. I want 2013 to be the year that I turn things around and find a better me.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Not a Character trait
I have not known what it is to be slim in my adult life and even before I actually had a weight problem I believed I was fat. I've felt fat then been fat for so long its difficult to remember that it not a character trait. Fat is not part of my personality so why does it it become the only thing I can focus on when I think about who I am as a person. Its almost become like my protection to be fat, I don't get any attention for my looks except bad attention. I don't have to worry that people are flirting with me and so on.
I have early memories from primary school of between maybe 6-8 years old and thinking I couldn't do handstands because I was fat and that no boys chased me when playing tag because I was fat. I look back at pictures and I see a normal child, but under the surface I was already self conscious and constantly compared myself to my cousin who was the same age but she was naturally very skinny as a child. It saddens me to think how early in life all this started and that I felt fat long before I actually had a weight problem.
I only started to gain weight to the point of it becoming a problem about age 13-14. I didn't become properly obese until my Nanny & Grandad passed away in a very short space of time, I left home, I grieved and without my Mum controlling what I was eating to an extent I piled the weight on reaching my highest weight of 21st 10lbs at age 19.
I've spent 6 years being morbidly obese and I'm ready to find out what life is like without a weight problem. What's it like dealing with all the ups and downs of life without worrying that they've all been caused or made worse by me being fat. Learning that 'fat' is not part of who I am is going to take alot of practise, I think my mind will take alot longer to adjust to the changes than my body will.
I'm so curious to know what slim feels like, in a way it still feels like some kind of impossible dream. I guess I still doubt myself, I've got to start believing that I will succeed no matter what if I ever want to know who I am underneath the weight.
I have early memories from primary school of between maybe 6-8 years old and thinking I couldn't do handstands because I was fat and that no boys chased me when playing tag because I was fat. I look back at pictures and I see a normal child, but under the surface I was already self conscious and constantly compared myself to my cousin who was the same age but she was naturally very skinny as a child. It saddens me to think how early in life all this started and that I felt fat long before I actually had a weight problem.
I only started to gain weight to the point of it becoming a problem about age 13-14. I didn't become properly obese until my Nanny & Grandad passed away in a very short space of time, I left home, I grieved and without my Mum controlling what I was eating to an extent I piled the weight on reaching my highest weight of 21st 10lbs at age 19.
I've spent 6 years being morbidly obese and I'm ready to find out what life is like without a weight problem. What's it like dealing with all the ups and downs of life without worrying that they've all been caused or made worse by me being fat. Learning that 'fat' is not part of who I am is going to take alot of practise, I think my mind will take alot longer to adjust to the changes than my body will.
I'm so curious to know what slim feels like, in a way it still feels like some kind of impossible dream. I guess I still doubt myself, I've got to start believing that I will succeed no matter what if I ever want to know who I am underneath the weight.
Friday, 14 December 2012
Very thankful
That I'm a stay at home Mum especially at this time of year. I adore being at home with my boys all year round and feel so thankful to my husband for supporting us so I can be with our kids. But all this talk of work Christmas do's, set menu's, office goodies, after work drinks and so on just reminds me of Christmas when I was in the office. The whole of December was just one big excuse to eat.
I really feel for people trying to lose weight with all the temptation at work. As I've already said I'm struggling as is, if I was being bombarded with temptation on a daily basis I think there's a chance I'd have given up and rejoined in January the way I've been feeling just lately.
Basically reading about other's struggling to resist temptation and making good choices regardless, I have realised I am in a very strong position to lose weight over the festive season. I've got no excuse in other words so I need to get my act together and lose some bloomin' weight!
I really feel for people trying to lose weight with all the temptation at work. As I've already said I'm struggling as is, if I was being bombarded with temptation on a daily basis I think there's a chance I'd have given up and rejoined in January the way I've been feeling just lately.
Basically reading about other's struggling to resist temptation and making good choices regardless, I have realised I am in a very strong position to lose weight over the festive season. I've got no excuse in other words so I need to get my act together and lose some bloomin' weight!
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Feeling so much better
I'm back on track today after 3 days off track and faced the scales last night. Now I gained 4.5lbs since Saturday BUT that's not all actual weight cause I weighed in the morning on Saturday and in the evening yesterday. Plus I knew I was facing a gain so I decided to wear my jeans as I want to get out the habit of putting light clothes on to weigh, just want to weigh in normal clothes again.
I've also felt utterly rotten the last two days, eating junk food has just made me feel awful. I'm pretty sure I brought on a mild ibs attack and to be fair I deserved it. Its quite scary really because what I ate was still no where near my pre- weight watchers amounts and I used to eat like that daily. Its amazing how quickly my body has adjusted to healthy food and now I just can't stomach much junk food.
I'm annoyed at myself on one hand as I just can't seem to make any progress its just one step forward one step back right now, however on the other hand I'm proud of myself for sticking it out despite the lack of progress. Its at this point in the past that I've given up as I didn't have the courage to face the scales when I knew I'd gained, so I'm very proud of myself for sticking to my word and not giving up. Also this time of year loads of people have dropped out for the festive season then will join again in January and I'm pleased that I'm still going to meeting when there's so few members still going.
Basically I'm doing it differently this time, I can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. I need to make weight watchers fit into my life and I need to keep going even when it gets really tough. Reeally looking forward to a year of weight watchers and I'm going to make 2013 the year that I turn my life around by losing the weight.
Saturday, 8 December 2012
Undeserved gains
The worst kind of gains in my opinion! I gained 1lb at weigh in today and I don't feel it was deserved!
Sure I had a small blip on Monday night and I went to weigh in today not really knowing what to expect when I stood on the scales but I thought I would have stayed the same at the worst. Its frustrating as I just feel like I should be making more progress than this, I've had more gains that I thought I would have had by now and I would just like to have a few weeks in a row where I lose for a nice change. Getting a little fed up of playing with the same few pounds
I'm now 2lbs away from the lowest weight I got to this time around of 18st 8.5lbs. I would really love to see under that number before Christmas. That means having a friggin' awesome back to basics week I think! I would also love to see the 17's some time early next year, preferably January!
So logically (I am trying so hard to be logical about this gain and not emotional!) I didn't deserve a gain so in theory a good week this week should mean I see a decent loss at the next weigh in. Also can I honestly say I did everything in my power to lose weight this week? Well no.
The things I could probably have done better on include - tracking as soon as I eat something so I don't forget to track things, tracking the milk in my tea, eating the right kinds of food instead of using my points for junk, fitting some more exercise in and a few more things I can't remember right now. Basically I'm going to try harder this week and hope the scales are kinder next week. I can't let a little gain throw me off track especially when said little gain wasn't deserved. I am a big girl now and I understand that the scales aren't always fair.
Fresh start, a whole new batch of weekly points and weight watchers have launched the new plan so a few more bits for me to read through for inspiration. Here's to a good week!
Sure I had a small blip on Monday night and I went to weigh in today not really knowing what to expect when I stood on the scales but I thought I would have stayed the same at the worst. Its frustrating as I just feel like I should be making more progress than this, I've had more gains that I thought I would have had by now and I would just like to have a few weeks in a row where I lose for a nice change. Getting a little fed up of playing with the same few pounds
I'm now 2lbs away from the lowest weight I got to this time around of 18st 8.5lbs. I would really love to see under that number before Christmas. That means having a friggin' awesome back to basics week I think! I would also love to see the 17's some time early next year, preferably January!
So logically (I am trying so hard to be logical about this gain and not emotional!) I didn't deserve a gain so in theory a good week this week should mean I see a decent loss at the next weigh in. Also can I honestly say I did everything in my power to lose weight this week? Well no.
The things I could probably have done better on include - tracking as soon as I eat something so I don't forget to track things, tracking the milk in my tea, eating the right kinds of food instead of using my points for junk, fitting some more exercise in and a few more things I can't remember right now. Basically I'm going to try harder this week and hope the scales are kinder next week. I can't let a little gain throw me off track especially when said little gain wasn't deserved. I am a big girl now and I understand that the scales aren't always fair.
Fresh start, a whole new batch of weekly points and weight watchers have launched the new plan so a few more bits for me to read through for inspiration. Here's to a good week!
Sunday, 2 December 2012
Winter
We went to the beach today - I just love winter days on the beach! Just reminds me of my childhood we always used to go for long walks on the beach during winter, just love how fresh and cold it is. Was all wrapped up in so many layers I really didn't feel the cold so it was lovely and my boys just loved it. Its funny how cold or even rainy days don't stop kids enjoying themselves!
Also stuck to my points and earnt myself 2 activity points from the walking so all good. Got to be creative this week and think of ways of getting me and the kids out as much as possible.
Its funny how most years I find myself hating winter as I stay indoors so much. I just end up feeling tired and hating the dark nights. However this year I'm actually enjoying the cold weather. I'm thinking it might just be down to how much more energy I have since starting to loose weight. Already I'm finding myself wanting to be active and enjoying it too! I was in such a rut before rejoining weight watchers. I'm actually starting to consider the possibility that I'm not a lazy person. Almost makes me feel a little sad to think how much my weight has held me back and in ways I hadn't even realised too.
I am enjoying the changes now and can't wait to discover more as I keep losing weight. All I know is I don't want to go back to the days where even light housework left me out of breath, I'd literally make excuses not to climb the stairs or do extra activity! Thank goodness I finally found the motivation to do something about my weight and long may it continue!
Saturday, 1 December 2012
Finally back on track
I'm currently away in Kent at the moment for about 3 weeks so decided I needed to find a weight watchers meeting down here if I stood any chance of staying on track. After much rushing around this morning we finally found the meeting and I was so pleased I did. I lost 6.5lbs!
This means after my three weeks of struggling, and getting to a point where I was doubting if I stood any chance of ever getting to goal, I'm now only 1lb off my lowest weight of 18st 8.5lbs. I actually feel like it might be possible to get 3 stone off by the new year, only 7.5lbs to go! I can't believe how different I feel to just two weeks ago, I was thinking I was a complete failure so my loss today gave me such a buzz and even more motivation.
On another point, I don't know if I'm a little mad but I'm aiming not to go off track over Christmas. I love Christmas from the point of view of making it as magical as possible for my two boys. However I just don't feel like I want to lose the whole of December and some of January fighting a gain over the festive period. It helps that we don't have alot planned this year (code for we have no friends lol) with all this relocation business we decided a quiet Christmas just mostly seeing family makes sense and with young kids we don't exactly party the nights away either. Baring all that in mind I just think I'd be using it as an excuse to eat. For instance we don't even do the big Christmas dinner with all the trimmings business! In fact we plan to have fun making sushi and I think we'll cook each of us our favourite meal for the day too. It might sound a little boring for some people's tastes but we just don't feel the need to go crazy. Makes the decision to try my best to stay on track a fairly easy one just hoping I can put it into practice now.
Overall of course my main aim is just to stay on track as much as possible and hope the weight continues to drop off, though I wish the stubborn bit around my belly button would get the hint and take a hike. I'm such an odd shape right now, just want to tell my body to get a grip - I don't need any more slimming off my fingers, toes, ears, boobs I mean for goodness sake not the boobs - just crack on and lose it off the tummy will you! Right now I've had a good rant at my body I think I'll call it night. x
This means after my three weeks of struggling, and getting to a point where I was doubting if I stood any chance of ever getting to goal, I'm now only 1lb off my lowest weight of 18st 8.5lbs. I actually feel like it might be possible to get 3 stone off by the new year, only 7.5lbs to go! I can't believe how different I feel to just two weeks ago, I was thinking I was a complete failure so my loss today gave me such a buzz and even more motivation.
On another point, I don't know if I'm a little mad but I'm aiming not to go off track over Christmas. I love Christmas from the point of view of making it as magical as possible for my two boys. However I just don't feel like I want to lose the whole of December and some of January fighting a gain over the festive period. It helps that we don't have alot planned this year (code for we have no friends lol) with all this relocation business we decided a quiet Christmas just mostly seeing family makes sense and with young kids we don't exactly party the nights away either. Baring all that in mind I just think I'd be using it as an excuse to eat. For instance we don't even do the big Christmas dinner with all the trimmings business! In fact we plan to have fun making sushi and I think we'll cook each of us our favourite meal for the day too. It might sound a little boring for some people's tastes but we just don't feel the need to go crazy. Makes the decision to try my best to stay on track a fairly easy one just hoping I can put it into practice now.
Overall of course my main aim is just to stay on track as much as possible and hope the weight continues to drop off, though I wish the stubborn bit around my belly button would get the hint and take a hike. I'm such an odd shape right now, just want to tell my body to get a grip - I don't need any more slimming off my fingers, toes, ears, boobs I mean for goodness sake not the boobs - just crack on and lose it off the tummy will you! Right now I've had a good rant at my body I think I'll call it night. x
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Not feeling it
I gained 4.5lbs at weigh in yesterday which in part is deserved and part of it was going back to evening weigh in from mornings. Also it was 10 days worth of damage so not too bad really, still disappointing. I know it was deserved due to being off track most of the week and over the weekend. Pretty sure the birthday cake, krispy kreme doughnuts, fried breakfast, McDonald's, Starbucks coffee etc didn't help!!
I'm back on track today but my hearts just not in it. I don't know if its literally because of all the stress going over the whole relocation thing in my head, or what, but I'm just going through the motions. I'm still within points and had all my meals so its all good, I just hope I can keep it up for the week as I feel I may be easily tempted.
I am feeling really down which I think is just because I'm lonely with my husband away and trying to get my head round the idea that in a few weeks I'm going to moving halfway across the country! I'm excited about the move as I just can't stand being on my own during the week, it feels like were just surviving until the weekend. Plus the kids are constantly going on about Daddy because they miss him and I can't help thinking about all the things hubby is missing out on. Our 18 month old little man just keeps coming out with new words everyday, it just sucks how much hubby's missed already! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the tenancy on the new house goes through now as just want to get on with moving.
*Sigh* just feeling a bit out of sorts right now and so my motivation is just rock bottom. What's keeping me on track is the reminder that I don't want to be fat any more, it only adds to my problems!
At least its Friday tomorrow thank goodness!!
I'm back on track today but my hearts just not in it. I don't know if its literally because of all the stress going over the whole relocation thing in my head, or what, but I'm just going through the motions. I'm still within points and had all my meals so its all good, I just hope I can keep it up for the week as I feel I may be easily tempted.
I am feeling really down which I think is just because I'm lonely with my husband away and trying to get my head round the idea that in a few weeks I'm going to moving halfway across the country! I'm excited about the move as I just can't stand being on my own during the week, it feels like were just surviving until the weekend. Plus the kids are constantly going on about Daddy because they miss him and I can't help thinking about all the things hubby is missing out on. Our 18 month old little man just keeps coming out with new words everyday, it just sucks how much hubby's missed already! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the tenancy on the new house goes through now as just want to get on with moving.
*Sigh* just feeling a bit out of sorts right now and so my motivation is just rock bottom. What's keeping me on track is the reminder that I don't want to be fat any more, it only adds to my problems!
At least its Friday tomorrow thank goodness!!
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Blips and moving past them
I had a blip on Sunday night, last night and again at Lunch today. I don't even know why I had a blip last night as I'd managed to get all the way through to 9pm within my points then randomly had 3 slices of toast and some chocolate. Just don't know what came over me last night. I managed to have a pointed breakfast this morning but my resolve weakened when my 3 year old had a massive tantrum at the shops, this led to me going way over points lunch today. So currently I have no weekly points left and went way over yesterday and already over today without eating my dinner.
Its driving me a little crazy I really want to just have some good weeks and nice row of losses on my card not the whole playing around with the same few pounds. I'm craving some progress, to feel like I'm getting somewhere with this bloomin' journey.
I figure I may have time to pull this week back and get a loss as I can't make it to my Saturday weigh in so will either be weighing on Monday morning or will wait until the following Saturday. What I don't want to happen is that I relax because weigh in is 2 weeks away. I need to pull this back now otherwise I'm going to be facing a gain next Saturday which will just demoralise me further.
I need to remember that taking control of my food actually helps give me control back in the rest of my life!
My plan now is to continue with my planned meal for dinner not go crazy the rest of the day. I'm not going to worry too much about the fact that I've gone over today and start fresh tomorrow. I think if I point the damage it will just frustrate me and add to the feelings of failure. I wonder if I can get back on track and secure a loss, 9 full days until weigh in so who knows?! Only other problem is that I'm going to be away in London Friday night... but if I get back on track then I can make good choices while I'm away so not much of an issue.
Here's hoping I can get my head straight!
Sunday, 28 October 2012
Turned upside down?
This might be a mostly off topic post but kind of important stuff right now.
So in a matter of a few weeks my life has been turned upside down. I've gone from quite happily living in Norfolk no long term plans to move from our lovely house to relocating to Kent! I'm sure your dying to know how this came about... or not but here I go anyway.
With the whole client holding out on paying my husband for 2 months worth of work and his one month notice period we were left in a pretty dire money situation we've kept ourselves going now for about 3-4 months with no money so got to be proud of that but its getting difficult now. Hubby secured and started another contract 2 weeks ago only problem being that its in London and paying for hotels on a weekly basis is both expensive and no way for hubby to live. This has all resulted in the decision to relocate and the realisation that the sooner the better. The sooner we move the more money we'll have at the end of this 6 month contract. Not to mention that I had to ask for a loan from my Mum and her Husband, which was cringe worthy! What can I say except its been rather stressful and not going to change any time soon what with the whole across country relocation thing!
Despite all of this is I lost 2.5lbs at weigh in yesterday morning getting me my 5th silver 7! I'm struggling a little today what with the stress I just want to eat junk food but going to try to resist.
Just so much going on in my head right now, just hope I can stay on track as much as possible.
So in a matter of a few weeks my life has been turned upside down. I've gone from quite happily living in Norfolk no long term plans to move from our lovely house to relocating to Kent! I'm sure your dying to know how this came about... or not but here I go anyway.
With the whole client holding out on paying my husband for 2 months worth of work and his one month notice period we were left in a pretty dire money situation we've kept ourselves going now for about 3-4 months with no money so got to be proud of that but its getting difficult now. Hubby secured and started another contract 2 weeks ago only problem being that its in London and paying for hotels on a weekly basis is both expensive and no way for hubby to live. This has all resulted in the decision to relocate and the realisation that the sooner the better. The sooner we move the more money we'll have at the end of this 6 month contract. Not to mention that I had to ask for a loan from my Mum and her Husband, which was cringe worthy! What can I say except its been rather stressful and not going to change any time soon what with the whole across country relocation thing!
Despite all of this is I lost 2.5lbs at weigh in yesterday morning getting me my 5th silver 7! I'm struggling a little today what with the stress I just want to eat junk food but going to try to resist.
Just so much going on in my head right now, just hope I can stay on track as much as possible.
Sunday, 21 October 2012
In need of a fresh start
So instead of moping about it I decided that as everything has changed anyway (with my husband working away again) to take this as a sign that I need a fresh start. Starting with being more organised.
Now normally I'm not the sort of person that has the patience to sit and plan all my meals let alone stick to said plan. Well I gave it go and I was pleasantly surprised! I planned meals for during the week, ordered all the food I needed online and actually stuck to the plan. It made it so easy to stick to points last week, I had points left over for treats and I actually enjoyed knowing what I was having at each meal. I also realised that I have changed, food is becoming so much more about fuel. I find myself thinking 'what will fill me up for the least amount of points?' not 'what do I feel like eating' or 'what will make me feel happy/cheer me up/distract me/feels like treat food'. Its such a nice feeling to know I'm back in control and food is more about fuel than treating myself. Long may it continue, I really hope its a habit that I can keep.
This fresh start also meant I've had to change what meeting I go to from a Wednesday evening to a Saturday morning. Its still one of my leaders meetings which is great as she's so supportive I wouldn't want a new leader. I weighed yesterday morning after 9 days and managed to lose 7.5lbs! I was so pleased and it felt absolutely amazing to be on track and feeling like I'm making progress.
So this is my fresh start and I will get my life together. It was really disheartening feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere, just can't stand feeling like I'm failing. All I know is I refuse to give up especially reminded of this after a day out today at a wedding show with my cousin. A lovely reminder that I will be matron of honour in 19 months time and I really freakin' really really really.... really....REALLY want to be at goal by then!! 103lbs to go and counting...
Here's to a fantastic week and a loss on the scales next week!
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Dairy free & gaining
I've had an absolutely mental week full of ups and downs. I'm over the moon to report my hubby secured another contract so on the money front things are looking up. He starts Monday so its going to be a big change for us from him working from home as he'll be away during the week now. In a way though I'm looking forward to the improvement in my routine and maybe getting on top of things around the house as I'll have nothing better to do.
After being told I have ibs last week and it not getting any better I decided to try going dairy free. I've been dairy free now since Sunday and my stomach has been so much better. I'm not sure if its a coincidence but I'm going to continue being dairy free for a few weeks then think about slowly reintroducing it. I don't want to be dairy free long term if I can help it but if its the difference between not eating dairy or being in pain I think I'd rather choose not eating dairy. Who knows it might a lactose thing in which case that will make it a little easier. On the weight watchers front I think not eating dairy will actually help as it forces me to cut out cheese and chocolate which are two of my biggest downfalls. It also makes it difficult to snack on junk as most processed snacks include dairy, meals should be fairly easy its just snacking. I've discovered soya milk and rice milk though meaning I can have cereal still. I've also cut out caffeine so no tea, coffee or cola as I know this is a trigger for me too. Its been weird changing my diet but enjoyable too as its forcing me to look at ingredients and really think about the foods I enjoy eating.
I suspect I will gain tonight at weigh in because despite being dairy free I literally haven't tracked/stuck to ww all week. It sucks as I really don't want to gain but hey these weeks happen and its more important that I learn to get back on track after bad weeks than never go off track. I'm a little worried that it'll be some huge embarrassing number and I'll be really embarrassed in front of my leader but she's not there to judge so I just need to face it!
I really really really need to get on track this week and of course we've got a kiddie free day on Saturday to celebrate our anniversary so we'll be eating out and generally enjoying ourseleves, guess my weekly points need to be saved for Saturday then! Life goes on, just hoping next week shows a loss not sure I could cope with gaining 3 weeks in a row!
Fingers crossed for weigh in tonight that it's not as bad as I think x
After being told I have ibs last week and it not getting any better I decided to try going dairy free. I've been dairy free now since Sunday and my stomach has been so much better. I'm not sure if its a coincidence but I'm going to continue being dairy free for a few weeks then think about slowly reintroducing it. I don't want to be dairy free long term if I can help it but if its the difference between not eating dairy or being in pain I think I'd rather choose not eating dairy. Who knows it might a lactose thing in which case that will make it a little easier. On the weight watchers front I think not eating dairy will actually help as it forces me to cut out cheese and chocolate which are two of my biggest downfalls. It also makes it difficult to snack on junk as most processed snacks include dairy, meals should be fairly easy its just snacking. I've discovered soya milk and rice milk though meaning I can have cereal still. I've also cut out caffeine so no tea, coffee or cola as I know this is a trigger for me too. Its been weird changing my diet but enjoyable too as its forcing me to look at ingredients and really think about the foods I enjoy eating.
I suspect I will gain tonight at weigh in because despite being dairy free I literally haven't tracked/stuck to ww all week. It sucks as I really don't want to gain but hey these weeks happen and its more important that I learn to get back on track after bad weeks than never go off track. I'm a little worried that it'll be some huge embarrassing number and I'll be really embarrassed in front of my leader but she's not there to judge so I just need to face it!
I really really really need to get on track this week and of course we've got a kiddie free day on Saturday to celebrate our anniversary so we'll be eating out and generally enjoying ourseleves, guess my weekly points need to be saved for Saturday then! Life goes on, just hoping next week shows a loss not sure I could cope with gaining 3 weeks in a row!
Fingers crossed for weigh in tonight that it's not as bad as I think x
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Lost the plot
I have completely lost the plot this week. It started with me gaining 1/2lb at weigh in on Wednesday and since then I have lost my way with food.
I tried my best to draw a line and start fresh on Thursday by going to the gym. I was actually really proud of myself for completing my second run from week 3 of couch to 5k which included two 3 minute intervals. I honestly thought there was no way I'd be able to jog for 3 minutes as I believed I was one of those people who just can't jog so I really surprised myself! Its a pity really that I lost my way with food in the afternoon which has spiralled into 3 days of being off track.
I guess I should cut myself some slack as we did end up going to London yesterday for an interview for hubby (thank goodness he finally got one after 3 weeks just fingers crossed he gets offered it on Monday) and today it was my son's 3rd birthday. Hardly a normal week but still no excuse.
Oh and not to mention I've been in pain with my stomach for over a week and was finally diagnosed with IBS on Wednesday morning. It was a relief to finally know why I get such bad bloating and pain in my stomach which started about 2 years ago. It can be triggered by stress so I assume that's why I'm having such a bad attack right now with everything that's going on. On one hand its frustrating that its not an easily solved health condition but good as I now have a chance at working on controlling it and its not generally a serious health problem just an irritating one. The dr gave me a prescription for peppermint oil tablets but so far I haven't noticed any difference so if I'm still suffering after 2 weeks I'll be going back. I'm going to see if there's a pattern to stomach pain and what I'm eating but again so far I can't pin it down. I've cut caffeine out as I know that causes problems for me but apart from that I really can see a pattern between food and attacks.
So all in all an emotional week and I've dealt with it terribly on the food front. I guess the best I can hope for now this week is a small gain. Its the first time since restarting weight watchers that I've had a can't be bothered attitude. I almost want to not bother now until after my next weigh in but then the logical part of me keeps reminding me that I need to draw my line and move on. If I start again tomorrow I could possibly achieve a stay the same or a really small gain but whether I actually have the enthusiasm to get back on track is another thing. Its part of the reason I decided to write a blog post as I need to remind myself that all is not lost and my life does not revolve around a weigh day.
I feel like I'm back to playing the same old track... lifestyle choice not diet....not giving up....eating junk only serves to make me fatter and therefore miserable....moderation not restriction... blah...blah...and blah! I know it so why can't I put it in to practice this week. I actually enjoy food far more when I can't just eat everything in sight and I have to really think about what I want to spend my points on. Losing weight gives me far more joy and sense of achievement than eating my weight in junk food! (now wondering what 18st 12lbs worth of junk food would actually look like?! Pretty disgusting I'd imagine!)
The sensible option would be to get back on track in the morning, put the last few days behind me and stop making excuses. It'd also be good if I could make it to the gym tomorrow. I just need to make positive steps and not dwell on my mistakes. It all sounds so easy written down, I wonder if I can move on and start again tomorrow? We shall see....
I tried my best to draw a line and start fresh on Thursday by going to the gym. I was actually really proud of myself for completing my second run from week 3 of couch to 5k which included two 3 minute intervals. I honestly thought there was no way I'd be able to jog for 3 minutes as I believed I was one of those people who just can't jog so I really surprised myself! Its a pity really that I lost my way with food in the afternoon which has spiralled into 3 days of being off track.
I guess I should cut myself some slack as we did end up going to London yesterday for an interview for hubby (thank goodness he finally got one after 3 weeks just fingers crossed he gets offered it on Monday) and today it was my son's 3rd birthday. Hardly a normal week but still no excuse.
Oh and not to mention I've been in pain with my stomach for over a week and was finally diagnosed with IBS on Wednesday morning. It was a relief to finally know why I get such bad bloating and pain in my stomach which started about 2 years ago. It can be triggered by stress so I assume that's why I'm having such a bad attack right now with everything that's going on. On one hand its frustrating that its not an easily solved health condition but good as I now have a chance at working on controlling it and its not generally a serious health problem just an irritating one. The dr gave me a prescription for peppermint oil tablets but so far I haven't noticed any difference so if I'm still suffering after 2 weeks I'll be going back. I'm going to see if there's a pattern to stomach pain and what I'm eating but again so far I can't pin it down. I've cut caffeine out as I know that causes problems for me but apart from that I really can see a pattern between food and attacks.
So all in all an emotional week and I've dealt with it terribly on the food front. I guess the best I can hope for now this week is a small gain. Its the first time since restarting weight watchers that I've had a can't be bothered attitude. I almost want to not bother now until after my next weigh in but then the logical part of me keeps reminding me that I need to draw my line and move on. If I start again tomorrow I could possibly achieve a stay the same or a really small gain but whether I actually have the enthusiasm to get back on track is another thing. Its part of the reason I decided to write a blog post as I need to remind myself that all is not lost and my life does not revolve around a weigh day.
I feel like I'm back to playing the same old track... lifestyle choice not diet....not giving up....eating junk only serves to make me fatter and therefore miserable....moderation not restriction... blah...blah...and blah! I know it so why can't I put it in to practice this week. I actually enjoy food far more when I can't just eat everything in sight and I have to really think about what I want to spend my points on. Losing weight gives me far more joy and sense of achievement than eating my weight in junk food! (now wondering what 18st 12lbs worth of junk food would actually look like?! Pretty disgusting I'd imagine!)
The sensible option would be to get back on track in the morning, put the last few days behind me and stop making excuses. It'd also be good if I could make it to the gym tomorrow. I just need to make positive steps and not dwell on my mistakes. It all sounds so easy written down, I wonder if I can move on and start again tomorrow? We shall see....
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Life goes on
I'd like to say normal service has resumed and money is flowing again but I can't and the uncertainty of it all is starting to grate on us now. Having said that I'm not letting it throw me off track because lets face it eating junk in excessive amounts will only add to my problems.
Rather wonderfully my husband has decided to sign up to weight watchers online again meaning I've found it so easy to stay on track so far this week. I just love those weeks where it feels so damn easy I wonder why I even have a weight problem in the first place! I hope this feeling lasts a while as I still have my sights set on 50lbs (in total) off by Christmas.
On another note its my little boys birthday next Sunday I can't believe he's 3 already! Where has the time gone?! It reminds me how quickly these times will slip by and why its exactly the reason I need to be slim and more importantly, healthy for them. I want them to remember me being active and joining in not the unhappy mummy who sat on the sidelines too unfit or scared to join in. I will be making him a birthday cake this week so may be using some of next weeks weeklies on cake!! If it turns out how I'd like I may even post pictures but don't hold your breath lol!
So here's to a fabulous week and a good result on the scales, if the week could include hubby finding another contract then even better! Xx
Monday, 24 September 2012
Lacking enthusiasm today
I think pmt + stress about money + it being a miserable day + a comment from husband about me being 'pissy' = me feeling a little down this morning.
I don't know why one comment can throw me into such a rubbish mood, I guess I felt it was a little unfair as I didn't feel like I'd been off this morning then I end up doubting myself. Maybe I have, maybe I snapped about something, who knows.
I guess on reflection its not an easy time for my husband, he's the sole earner and its down to him to find a new job to support our little family. The pressure must be difficult and I know he gets down if he doesn't feel like he's making progress as he ends up feeling like he's failed us. Plus he's got a meeting with a lawyer today to discuss whether we have a case to claim back the outstanding invoice. It's hardly surprising were both feeling a little down right now when I write it all down and in fact I think we've been rather calm given the uncertainty at the moment.
Luckily I'm still in control around food which I'm quite pleased about because around this time of the month I do struggle with the urge to overeat at times. It proves to me that even when things are stressful I can deal with the problem rather than numbing my feelings with food. I'm also quite proud of how much I've cooked the last week instead of eating out or ordering in.
On another note my In Laws came round yesterday and bought us an Anniversary present which happened to be a MASSIVE box of Thornton's chocolates. We opened them at lunch and I had just one. After they left I'm afraid the rest of them ended up in the bin which I felt a little guilty about but we decided it was for the best given they are about 2 points per chocolate yikes! I just know I'd have picked at them if they were sat around and as they'd been opened its not like I could keep them for a present or something. So the chocolates went bye bye and I felt much better for it. I guess I've got to prepare myself for these kind of presents with Christmas coming up. I just don't want to feel obliged to eat something just because I received it as a present, especially when the giver knows I'm losing weight!
So I started this post this morning and just finished it. In-between I've managed to find my enthusiasm. I've weighed out all the ingredients to make cakes with my 3 year old and done the housework that needed doing. I've had a little time to reflect and feel much better. I think writing it all down really does help me put in perspective. After all Everything passes...
I don't know why one comment can throw me into such a rubbish mood, I guess I felt it was a little unfair as I didn't feel like I'd been off this morning then I end up doubting myself. Maybe I have, maybe I snapped about something, who knows.
I guess on reflection its not an easy time for my husband, he's the sole earner and its down to him to find a new job to support our little family. The pressure must be difficult and I know he gets down if he doesn't feel like he's making progress as he ends up feeling like he's failed us. Plus he's got a meeting with a lawyer today to discuss whether we have a case to claim back the outstanding invoice. It's hardly surprising were both feeling a little down right now when I write it all down and in fact I think we've been rather calm given the uncertainty at the moment.
Luckily I'm still in control around food which I'm quite pleased about because around this time of the month I do struggle with the urge to overeat at times. It proves to me that even when things are stressful I can deal with the problem rather than numbing my feelings with food. I'm also quite proud of how much I've cooked the last week instead of eating out or ordering in.
On another note my In Laws came round yesterday and bought us an Anniversary present which happened to be a MASSIVE box of Thornton's chocolates. We opened them at lunch and I had just one. After they left I'm afraid the rest of them ended up in the bin which I felt a little guilty about but we decided it was for the best given they are about 2 points per chocolate yikes! I just know I'd have picked at them if they were sat around and as they'd been opened its not like I could keep them for a present or something. So the chocolates went bye bye and I felt much better for it. I guess I've got to prepare myself for these kind of presents with Christmas coming up. I just don't want to feel obliged to eat something just because I received it as a present, especially when the giver knows I'm losing weight!
So I started this post this morning and just finished it. In-between I've managed to find my enthusiasm. I've weighed out all the ingredients to make cakes with my 3 year old and done the housework that needed doing. I've had a little time to reflect and feel much better. I think writing it all down really does help me put in perspective. After all Everything passes...
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Weigh in 13!
3.5lb off!! Whoop Whoop! So happy and all that worrying for nothing! I also got my 10% today too!
I had another little binge today so decided to draw a line and start afresh tomorrow especially after losing when I thought I deserved to gain after my behaviour the last two days!
Hoping for another good week x
I had another little binge today so decided to draw a line and start afresh tomorrow especially after losing when I thought I deserved to gain after my behaviour the last two days!
Hoping for another good week x
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Drawing my line
So I gave in to the emotional eating/being really hungry and out of points tonight. I ended up having a binge which included 2 mushrooms & Philadelphia tortillas wraps, 2 packets of quavers, a weight watchers cheesecake which just didn't hit the spot so ended up having a regular mini cheesecake! A few points over me thinks and the night before weigh in too. Just frustrating!
I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself this has been a very stressful week and I am still learning how to control my urge to eat for emotional reasons. What I am going to do is draw a line under it and move on. Weigh in is just another step on the way regardless of whether its a small step backwards or not. I'm still eating better and I'm more in control around food than I was 13 weeks ago.
I'm going to the gym in the morning in an attempt to turn things around and not let this spiral into more than a one off binge.
Lets hope the scales are in an understanding mood tomorrow! In a way at least the uncertainty has been removed, if I don't gain then fan-bloomin-tastic!!!
I am not a failure and I can succeed even with set backs along the way!!!!!!!
I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself this has been a very stressful week and I am still learning how to control my urge to eat for emotional reasons. What I am going to do is draw a line under it and move on. Weigh in is just another step on the way regardless of whether its a small step backwards or not. I'm still eating better and I'm more in control around food than I was 13 weeks ago.
I'm going to the gym in the morning in an attempt to turn things around and not let this spiral into more than a one off binge.
Lets hope the scales are in an understanding mood tomorrow! In a way at least the uncertainty has been removed, if I don't gain then fan-bloomin-tastic!!!
I am not a failure and I can succeed even with set backs along the way!!!!!!!
Worrying
I felt a little emotional last night and had the urge to binge or rather not feel restricted. I ended up using most of what was left of my weekly points which has had me worrying since that I won't lose again at weigh in tomorrow.
I think deep down I still have this belief that I will fail so even though I'm within my points allowance for the week I'm still fretting about whether the scales will move the right way tomorrow. I know its silly really one meal can't wreck an entire week of sticking to points, let alone a pointed meal!!
The stress of the money situation is getting to me a little I think. I'm trying not to dwell on things but the uncertainty of it all plays on my mind.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for weigh in tomorrow. I feel like alot is riding on it this week as I just know not losing or gaining would demoralise me. I certainly wouldn't let it throw me off track but it would be annoying! Just want it to be time for weigh in so I can get it over and done with and hopefully make some progress on this bloomin' journey!
I think deep down I still have this belief that I will fail so even though I'm within my points allowance for the week I'm still fretting about whether the scales will move the right way tomorrow. I know its silly really one meal can't wreck an entire week of sticking to points, let alone a pointed meal!!
The stress of the money situation is getting to me a little I think. I'm trying not to dwell on things but the uncertainty of it all plays on my mind.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for weigh in tomorrow. I feel like alot is riding on it this week as I just know not losing or gaining would demoralise me. I certainly wouldn't let it throw me off track but it would be annoying! Just want it to be time for weigh in so I can get it over and done with and hopefully make some progress on this bloomin' journey!
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Sometimes...
.. I feel that I can't possibly lose weight given the amount I'm eating and the amount I eat out still!
As I've mentioned already we've had a bit of stress over my Husband's work and outstanding invoices, meh I hate money worries. So being two responsible adults with two young children obviously we decided the best course of action was to eat out ALOT cause wasting money on eating out will help right? lol!
I think we just decided we needed to just get on with things because as my new mantra states 'everything passes' so why worry ourselves now when the situation is very much under control. I have every faith that my husband will be able to find another contract in the next two weeks.
Anyway I digress, my point is I have a small amount of guilt over the amount we've eaten out from the weight loss point of view. I still can't see how I can lose weight while not depriving myself, its so programmed in its taking a while to get my head round it! I've even managed to stay within my daily points after eating out for breakfast and getting Wagamamas takeout for dinner! Feels truly naughty but I know I'm well within my points and have been honest in my tracking. I feel I've made good choices so I'm still hoping for a loss this week.
Operation back to basics is still going well I think. I've done well on the tracking front and done a fair amount of activity with walking and swimming this morning, its just the eating out bit I've not really managed to reduce after the last two days. I'm not too worried as family meals out and enjoying the weekend are fine in my opinion its mainly the takeaways during the week instead of cooking that I feel we need to reduce to a very occasional thing.
I'm still on track for a loss especially because I'm hoping to get through the next two days just using daily points. I really hope I lose this week because I feel like another bad weigh in would not be good for my morale! Do you hear that Weight watcher gods??!
Fingers crossed for a good two days and a movement on the scales in the right direction!
As I've mentioned already we've had a bit of stress over my Husband's work and outstanding invoices, meh I hate money worries. So being two responsible adults with two young children obviously we decided the best course of action was to eat out ALOT cause wasting money on eating out will help right? lol!
I think we just decided we needed to just get on with things because as my new mantra states 'everything passes' so why worry ourselves now when the situation is very much under control. I have every faith that my husband will be able to find another contract in the next two weeks.
Anyway I digress, my point is I have a small amount of guilt over the amount we've eaten out from the weight loss point of view. I still can't see how I can lose weight while not depriving myself, its so programmed in its taking a while to get my head round it! I've even managed to stay within my daily points after eating out for breakfast and getting Wagamamas takeout for dinner! Feels truly naughty but I know I'm well within my points and have been honest in my tracking. I feel I've made good choices so I'm still hoping for a loss this week.
Operation back to basics is still going well I think. I've done well on the tracking front and done a fair amount of activity with walking and swimming this morning, its just the eating out bit I've not really managed to reduce after the last two days. I'm not too worried as family meals out and enjoying the weekend are fine in my opinion its mainly the takeaways during the week instead of cooking that I feel we need to reduce to a very occasional thing.
I'm still on track for a loss especially because I'm hoping to get through the next two days just using daily points. I really hope I lose this week because I feel like another bad weigh in would not be good for my morale! Do you hear that Weight watcher gods??!
Fingers crossed for a good two days and a movement on the scales in the right direction!
Friday, 14 September 2012
Operation Back to Basics...
Mission Update:
- 2 days on track using just 1 weekly point
- went to the gym yesterday and completed run 2 of week 2 from the couch to 5k programme
- ate out at Yo Sushi today and still under my daily points
- I've weighed, measured and tracked everything!
- I've made better choices lots of fruit, vegetables and filling foods, alot less empty snacks
All in all I've had 2 fantastic days which I'm proud of considering we've been having a bit of a stressful time with my husbands business and his main customer refusing to pay his last invoice! Really not nice having the uncertainty of money hanging over us, we've been through bankruptcy and back again and I really don't ever want to see rock bottom again. Of course having been there I know life goes on regardless and money is not the be all and end all its just frustrating. I'm just glad I've held it together on the food front, even turned down the offer of takeaway last night opting to stick with my ww pizza and jacket potato.
So glad to be getting back to basics and in control again, lets hope it can continue until weigh in! x
Thursday, 13 September 2012
Bad weigh in
I gained 2lbs and I'm not happy about it but its done and nothing I can do to change that. What I can do is change what I'm doing this week.
My aims to have a good week include:
1) Exercise - I want to go to the gym at least 3 times this week and if possible I'd like to complete week 2 of the couch to 5K and move on to week 3. It would be good if I could complete a couple of exercise dvd's at home too plus walk as much as possible.
2) Back to basics - I need to weigh, measure and track EVERYTHING! I have got a little complacent guessing the weight of things and guessing/missing tracking milk in tea and so on.
3) Reduce empty snacks - I waste points on snacks that provide no nutritional value and do not fill me up. I know sometimes I need a treat which is fine but I need to cut out the ones that aren't needed.
4) Less eating out - eating out puts pressure on me always having to think what the best choice is and generally the food is higher points. Again its guesswork sometimes with the points content, so my hubby had agreed we will eat out less this week. Good for my weight loss and very good for our bank balance.
5) Healthy filling food in the house - we have so little in the house, I need to stock up on fruit and filling low point food..
What I am not going to do is let a small gain throw me off track. I will not be dwelling on it or letting myself get too frustrated by it as this is unhelpful.
I'm glad I stayed for the meeting though as my leader spoke to two members of the group who are at/nearly at goal. One member has lost 108lbs and the other has lost 117lbs! It made me realise that I may feel like I'm in a minority with the amount I have to lose but in reality I'm not. There are other people who have been where I am and lost the weight. It was just one more reminder that it's not some impossible task!
I think part of me is still waiting for the day I 'fail' and another gain just made me worry that this is the beginning of me failing. I just don't want to start messing about with the same half a stone until I finally give up. I guess I need to remember that my past failures do not mean I can't succeed now.
One day at a time and here's hoping for a fantastic week!
My aims to have a good week include:
1) Exercise - I want to go to the gym at least 3 times this week and if possible I'd like to complete week 2 of the couch to 5K and move on to week 3. It would be good if I could complete a couple of exercise dvd's at home too plus walk as much as possible.
2) Back to basics - I need to weigh, measure and track EVERYTHING! I have got a little complacent guessing the weight of things and guessing/missing tracking milk in tea and so on.
3) Reduce empty snacks - I waste points on snacks that provide no nutritional value and do not fill me up. I know sometimes I need a treat which is fine but I need to cut out the ones that aren't needed.
4) Less eating out - eating out puts pressure on me always having to think what the best choice is and generally the food is higher points. Again its guesswork sometimes with the points content, so my hubby had agreed we will eat out less this week. Good for my weight loss and very good for our bank balance.
5) Healthy filling food in the house - we have so little in the house, I need to stock up on fruit and filling low point food..
What I am not going to do is let a small gain throw me off track. I will not be dwelling on it or letting myself get too frustrated by it as this is unhelpful.
I'm glad I stayed for the meeting though as my leader spoke to two members of the group who are at/nearly at goal. One member has lost 108lbs and the other has lost 117lbs! It made me realise that I may feel like I'm in a minority with the amount I have to lose but in reality I'm not. There are other people who have been where I am and lost the weight. It was just one more reminder that it's not some impossible task!
I think part of me is still waiting for the day I 'fail' and another gain just made me worry that this is the beginning of me failing. I just don't want to start messing about with the same half a stone until I finally give up. I guess I need to remember that my past failures do not mean I can't succeed now.
One day at a time and here's hoping for a fantastic week!
Monday, 10 September 2012
I wonder...
... whether I can lose when using all of my weekly points if not a few over? My husband has just gone out to get pizza which I have fully counted but it uses the last of my weekly points plus a few of my activity points too. It makes me wonder if I can push the limits of my points and still lose weight. Guess I'll find out at weigh in on Wednesday.
I've not eaten it yet though so I'm not sure I'll even eat all of what I ordered but counted it all so I have the choice. It was a toss up between saying no and feeling restricted or going a few points over to allow me to have a little of what I fancy. I made good choices though going for a small veggie supreme on an Italian base, its a big improvement from what we would have ordered pre-weight watchers! I still feel a little dubious about it, not guilty but just unsure how its going to affect my weigh in. Add that to my big loss last week I really won't have much in the way of expectations when going to weigh in so I don't leave feeling disappointed.
I'll be going to the gym in the morning with any luck, just depends on how I feel as still have a lingering cough from the cold we all got but if I do then I'll hopefully blast a bit of what I ate tonight. So who knows, I will just have to wait and see what happens but keeping my fingers crossed. Either way I know the result won't put me off continuing it will just be one more weigh in on the way to goal and I'll learn from it hopefully finding out where my limits are.
Update: The pizza was lovely, best pizza I've had in a long time. I asked for less cheese too reduced my points a bit further. I really can't get over how nice it was to have a pizza that wasn't greasy or made me feel like rubbish after eating it! So I ended up a little into my activity points and going to try to have a day on just my daily points today. I love weight watchers because I don't feel like I have to say no, not feeling restricted is the key for me. Lets hope I can still manage a loss on the scales tomorrow x
I've not eaten it yet though so I'm not sure I'll even eat all of what I ordered but counted it all so I have the choice. It was a toss up between saying no and feeling restricted or going a few points over to allow me to have a little of what I fancy. I made good choices though going for a small veggie supreme on an Italian base, its a big improvement from what we would have ordered pre-weight watchers! I still feel a little dubious about it, not guilty but just unsure how its going to affect my weigh in. Add that to my big loss last week I really won't have much in the way of expectations when going to weigh in so I don't leave feeling disappointed.
I'll be going to the gym in the morning with any luck, just depends on how I feel as still have a lingering cough from the cold we all got but if I do then I'll hopefully blast a bit of what I ate tonight. So who knows, I will just have to wait and see what happens but keeping my fingers crossed. Either way I know the result won't put me off continuing it will just be one more weigh in on the way to goal and I'll learn from it hopefully finding out where my limits are.
Update: The pizza was lovely, best pizza I've had in a long time. I asked for less cheese too reduced my points a bit further. I really can't get over how nice it was to have a pizza that wasn't greasy or made me feel like rubbish after eating it! So I ended up a little into my activity points and going to try to have a day on just my daily points today. I love weight watchers because I don't feel like I have to say no, not feeling restricted is the key for me. Lets hope I can still manage a loss on the scales tomorrow x
Sunday, 9 September 2012
How did my points evaporate?
Today has been one of those days where I haven't snacked a great deal but due to eating out my meals have been higher points. It feels like my points just evaporated today and I'm into my weekly points. I'd like to have the next 2 days just sticking to my daily points as I really really want to lose at least 1lb this week to get my 10%. If I could lose 1.5lbs that would put me into the 18's which would be awesome!
Its been a difficult week as my husband has been ill so had to do alot of the childcare by myself, I'm proud of myself for not turning to food for comfort in the more difficult moments this week. I do feel like I'm learning new ways of coping and new habits. Food feels more like a fuel to me, I'm making food choices based on what is low points but filling. I find myself choosing protein more and not wanting to 'waste' points on things like chips. I've also found my appetite has reduced and I'm satisfied with smaller meals. Its just nice to be noticing all the changes in my attitude and my relationship with food, long may in continue!
So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for weigh in on Wednesday.
Its been a difficult week as my husband has been ill so had to do alot of the childcare by myself, I'm proud of myself for not turning to food for comfort in the more difficult moments this week. I do feel like I'm learning new ways of coping and new habits. Food feels more like a fuel to me, I'm making food choices based on what is low points but filling. I find myself choosing protein more and not wanting to 'waste' points on things like chips. I've also found my appetite has reduced and I'm satisfied with smaller meals. Its just nice to be noticing all the changes in my attitude and my relationship with food, long may in continue!
So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for weigh in on Wednesday.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
My night out
I went to the theatre last night to see Dirty Dancing which was really good. I was watching the dancing and it reminded me that despite my complete lack of coordination I've always loved the idea of being able to dance. I'd love to take dance lessons like salsa or ballroom dancing classes but at my size I just don't have the confidence for it right now. I have a few things on my to do list when at goal (or well on way at least). Don't get me wrong I don't believe that when I reach goal my life will be perfect and losing weight is the magic fix all but my goodness it holds me back. So I left the theatre feeling good but with a twinge of sadness because it had reminded me that I've missed out on so much enjoyment in the last 6 years purely because I didn't have to confidence to be myself and try new things.
I know dwelling on how I got to the size I am is just wasted energy, there's no point feeling sad and I have to remember to channel that energy into losing the weight but it just amazes me at times. How did I end up weighing nearly 22 stone and morbidly obese? And more importantly why wasn't I able to do anything about it until now?! It seems so simple to me now and I just have this feeling that I am going to see it through. I don't want to look back in 10 years and still be morbidly obese wondering why on earth I didn't see it through now.
This journey is so full of ups and downs its crazy! I tend to vent on here otherwise I think I might just drive myself or my family insane with it all. Of course its well worth all the effort!
On a boring note I'm having a good week so far, although yesterday I went 14pts under my daily points by accident. I was really busy getting ready and getting the kids to bed before I went to the theatre I just didn't get a chance to have a proper meal. I ended up having some toast which meant I wasn't hungry just under my points. I figured I'd use some of them there or when I got home but we didn't get snacks there and I didn't get in until 11.30! I'm really not an advocate of going under the daily points as I feel they really are the minimum I should be eating given my size but this was purely an accident so guess I may as well move on. My main worry is my body thinking I'm not getting enough and holding onto energy so I started today with a nice breakfast full of lean protein and a few more points than usual doing it. I think I might use some weekly points and have a higher day today but I'll just see how I feel.
Here's hoping my good week continues x
I know dwelling on how I got to the size I am is just wasted energy, there's no point feeling sad and I have to remember to channel that energy into losing the weight but it just amazes me at times. How did I end up weighing nearly 22 stone and morbidly obese? And more importantly why wasn't I able to do anything about it until now?! It seems so simple to me now and I just have this feeling that I am going to see it through. I don't want to look back in 10 years and still be morbidly obese wondering why on earth I didn't see it through now.
This journey is so full of ups and downs its crazy! I tend to vent on here otherwise I think I might just drive myself or my family insane with it all. Of course its well worth all the effort!
On a boring note I'm having a good week so far, although yesterday I went 14pts under my daily points by accident. I was really busy getting ready and getting the kids to bed before I went to the theatre I just didn't get a chance to have a proper meal. I ended up having some toast which meant I wasn't hungry just under my points. I figured I'd use some of them there or when I got home but we didn't get snacks there and I didn't get in until 11.30! I'm really not an advocate of going under the daily points as I feel they really are the minimum I should be eating given my size but this was purely an accident so guess I may as well move on. My main worry is my body thinking I'm not getting enough and holding onto energy so I started today with a nice breakfast full of lean protein and a few more points than usual doing it. I think I might use some weekly points and have a higher day today but I'll just see how I feel.
Here's hoping my good week continues x
Friday, 7 September 2012
Really positive day
I took my two boys to a soft play centre today and it turned out to be a very positive experience for me in the weight loss achievement sense. I was amazed at how much energy I had and how light my body felt. I was literally bombing round the soft play with them. Its quite a workout going round the big section with them but I actually enjoyed the exercise and was totally in the moment.
That was the other thing I noticed was my confidence, I was enjoying the moment so much with my kids I didn't even stop to feel self conscious. I wasn't worrying what the other parents were thinking or if I'd fit through that gap. It just felt great to be myself and not worrying if others were judging me!
I bought myself some leggings yesterday which I paired up with one of my new dresses today and I realised in the car on the way back I loved what I was wearing. So? I hear you ask that's normal to have clothes you love right? Not for me! Most of my wardrobe is either boring, practical and makes me feel about 10yrs older than I am. I basically wear jeans and tunic style tops most of the time. I have alot of tops I'm not even sure I like. Basically I very rarely if ever leave the house wearing clothes that I love but today I am! I don't want to take my dress off it makes me feel so confident but is comfortable to. I finally feel like I have some flattering clothes and it feels like one hell of a victory!
Going shopping this week made me realise just how much I'd given up of clothes and my appearance. It feels great to be finding out I can look nice and feel good about myself.
So all round positive day, I'm in a fantastic mood and have so much energy I've barely stopped today :D
That was the other thing I noticed was my confidence, I was enjoying the moment so much with my kids I didn't even stop to feel self conscious. I wasn't worrying what the other parents were thinking or if I'd fit through that gap. It just felt great to be myself and not worrying if others were judging me!
I bought myself some leggings yesterday which I paired up with one of my new dresses today and I realised in the car on the way back I loved what I was wearing. So? I hear you ask that's normal to have clothes you love right? Not for me! Most of my wardrobe is either boring, practical and makes me feel about 10yrs older than I am. I basically wear jeans and tunic style tops most of the time. I have alot of tops I'm not even sure I like. Basically I very rarely if ever leave the house wearing clothes that I love but today I am! I don't want to take my dress off it makes me feel so confident but is comfortable to. I finally feel like I have some flattering clothes and it feels like one hell of a victory!
Going shopping this week made me realise just how much I'd given up of clothes and my appearance. It feels great to be finding out I can look nice and feel good about myself.
So all round positive day, I'm in a fantastic mood and have so much energy I've barely stopped today :D
Pictures - 2 stone down!
So this picture is of me at the start 21st 2lbs, then 19.5lbs lost and now 29lbs lost weighing 19st 1lb! I really think I can see the difference and the best bit is the dress I'm wearing in the now photo is the dress I wore to my Mum's wedding 2 years ago. It is tight but I can do it all the way up and could wear it (with a better bra maybe my boobs look like they are trying to escape!). It's a size 22 which feels like a big achievement for me as the start of being able to shop in 'normal' shops again. Already bought two new dresses from the John Rocha range at Debenhams both in size 22 and they fit lovely. That means I've dropped from a size 28/30 bottoms to size 24/26 and top half 26 start size and 22 now. A whole 2 dresses in 12 weeks, I am one happy bunny right now. I keep thinking if it feels this good dropping dress size at my current size what will size 12/14 feel like??
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Cherish what makes you who you are
I struggle with this. I always want to be the person people want me to be and I taken any criticism personally. As a result I am so socially awkward and I never feel like I fit in.
My Husband and I had a long chat about this last night because I seem to get told by family that I said or did the wrong thing alot, or it seems that way to me. I spend so long dwelling on the things I've done or said to try and prevent hurting anyone or saying the wrong thing. Somehow I still get criticism despite this crazy level of anxiety over social situations!
I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop trying so hard to be someone I'm not and just be myself. "do what's right in your heart because you'll be criticised regardless". So I need to be true to myself and who I am not what I think will make other people like me.
I know in my heart I do not act out of spite or with a genuine need to hurt people, I do not go out of my way to mean or hurtful. I don't feel like I'm a bad person.
So I am going to cherish the fact that I am honest, struggle to join in with being fake and don't fit in. I think for me fitting in means being someone I'm not!
My Husband and I had a long chat about this last night because I seem to get told by family that I said or did the wrong thing alot, or it seems that way to me. I spend so long dwelling on the things I've done or said to try and prevent hurting anyone or saying the wrong thing. Somehow I still get criticism despite this crazy level of anxiety over social situations!
I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop trying so hard to be someone I'm not and just be myself. "do what's right in your heart because you'll be criticised regardless". So I need to be true to myself and who I am not what I think will make other people like me.
I know in my heart I do not act out of spite or with a genuine need to hurt people, I do not go out of my way to mean or hurtful. I don't feel like I'm a bad person.
So I am going to cherish the fact that I am honest, struggle to join in with being fake and don't fit in. I think for me fitting in means being someone I'm not!
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Good weigh in
I lost 2.5lbs this week and was very chuffed with that! That means I've lost 23lbs since starting weight watchers 11 weeks ago.
Had a difficult week with the urge to binge all of Friday and Saturday finally giving in on Saturday night. I wondered if my little blip meant I'd gain again this week after my undeserved half on last week. Luckily I did enough the last 3 days to get me a loss and my legs know about it! I started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred on Sunday and my legs were still aching yesterday!
Despite having sore legs I decided to get back to the gym and attempt the couch to 5k programme again. I haven't done a proper workout since before I got ill with a chest infection that landed me in hospital for the night around the beginning of July. So I went with the intention of going back to the start of the C25K and doing week one. Got on the treadmill started jogging and my previous speed felt a bit slow so I upped my speed. After the 1 minute interval I felt like I could do more so decided to do week 2 instead! That meant I did 90 seconds of jogging with 2 minutes of rest for 20 minutes. I followed that with 40 minutes of swimming and was really pleased with myself.
I was really worried that my fitness level would have dropped after being ill and in fact I jogged faster and for longer than before I got ill. I think maybe being lighter has helped and the fact that I've done my best to stay active while recovering. It was just an awesome feeling having a victory in regards to exercise as its one of those things I always thought was a bit beyond me. I honestly believed I just wasn't a jogging type of person and I'm completely proving myself wrong! I'm so not the person I thought I was and already starting to discover who I really am under all this weight that's been holding me back way too long.
I went to a party on Friday organised for all the members of my leaders weight watchers meetings. I had a really good time and felt great in the dress I wore. The best bit was the whole buffet was food the members brought with them so was all pro-pointed!
So I've had a good week followed by a good weigh in and well on my way to my 10%, just 5lbs to go!
Had a difficult week with the urge to binge all of Friday and Saturday finally giving in on Saturday night. I wondered if my little blip meant I'd gain again this week after my undeserved half on last week. Luckily I did enough the last 3 days to get me a loss and my legs know about it! I started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred on Sunday and my legs were still aching yesterday!
Despite having sore legs I decided to get back to the gym and attempt the couch to 5k programme again. I haven't done a proper workout since before I got ill with a chest infection that landed me in hospital for the night around the beginning of July. So I went with the intention of going back to the start of the C25K and doing week one. Got on the treadmill started jogging and my previous speed felt a bit slow so I upped my speed. After the 1 minute interval I felt like I could do more so decided to do week 2 instead! That meant I did 90 seconds of jogging with 2 minutes of rest for 20 minutes. I followed that with 40 minutes of swimming and was really pleased with myself.
I was really worried that my fitness level would have dropped after being ill and in fact I jogged faster and for longer than before I got ill. I think maybe being lighter has helped and the fact that I've done my best to stay active while recovering. It was just an awesome feeling having a victory in regards to exercise as its one of those things I always thought was a bit beyond me. I honestly believed I just wasn't a jogging type of person and I'm completely proving myself wrong! I'm so not the person I thought I was and already starting to discover who I really am under all this weight that's been holding me back way too long.
I went to a party on Friday organised for all the members of my leaders weight watchers meetings. I had a really good time and felt great in the dress I wore. The best bit was the whole buffet was food the members brought with them so was all pro-pointed!
So I've had a good week followed by a good weigh in and well on my way to my 10%, just 5lbs to go!
Thursday, 16 August 2012
So after a bit of a difficult week with birthday celebrations and eating out alot I managed to lose 1lb this week. I was really happy with that result as I got my third silver seven! That means I've lost 21lbs in 8 weeks and still feeling very positive.
The last two days I've eaten at home for every meal and its been so easy to stick to my points when I'm completely in control of cooking. Eating out is quite difficult as everything seems to be so high in points by comparison to home cooked food. Its made me realise I need to make more of an effort to cook and stretch my points. There were several days last week where it just didn't feel like I had enough points so I need to use a little more imagination with what I'm using my points on. I don't feel there's any reason for me to go hungry on weight watchers but there were times last week where I was!
I've been trying to deal with my emotions a little more recently and discovered some helpful ideas from a book on Buddhism I'm reading. I'm not religious but if any religion interests me it would be Buddhism. I was reading about being mindful and how most of us struggle to live in the moment. Our minds are always distracted with thoughts of the past or future. Alot of our lives we live on auto pilot and miss things as a result. So the last few days I've been making the effort to focus on what I'm doing, what my kids are saying and doing and generally being more aware of my surroundings. I have trouble with anxiety which can lead to emotional eating so its been really helping to just focus on the moment instead of everything that's been or might be!
As a result of all this I've felt calmer and I've barely snacked today. I have literally only eaten when I was hungry and it was such a novelty! I am seriously liking this new slightly calmer me who doesn't feel the need to eat everything in sight when I feel down.
With my weight loss slowing down I'm also starting to realise that I need to appreciate the journey and not obsess about the end goal. Lets face it there isn't going to be an 'end' because even when I get to goal it will be learning how to maintain and so on. So instead of worrying that a pound a week feels little slow I've been reminding myself that an average of a pound a week would see me at a healthy weight in just over two years which is not anything to be sniffed at. The alternative being a fad diet with quick results but not sustainable or throwing my dolly out the pram and giving up altogether. Hmm lets think slower losses on a sustainable plan which will see me gradually getting to a healthier weight. A fad non sustainable diet which equals giving up and eating rubbish or just giving up because "stomps feet" I'm not losing weight quick enough..huffff!! Conclusion - I'd rather accept 1-2lb a week is NORMAL and its a hell of alot better than not losing at all and finding myself at my heaviest weight wondering why it ever felt like two years was too far away!!
Bit of a long post there but just all the random things I'm mulling over right now. I guess if it helps me get there then who cares how much I ramble on!
Here's to another good week and hope I find it a little easier this week xx
The last two days I've eaten at home for every meal and its been so easy to stick to my points when I'm completely in control of cooking. Eating out is quite difficult as everything seems to be so high in points by comparison to home cooked food. Its made me realise I need to make more of an effort to cook and stretch my points. There were several days last week where it just didn't feel like I had enough points so I need to use a little more imagination with what I'm using my points on. I don't feel there's any reason for me to go hungry on weight watchers but there were times last week where I was!
I've been trying to deal with my emotions a little more recently and discovered some helpful ideas from a book on Buddhism I'm reading. I'm not religious but if any religion interests me it would be Buddhism. I was reading about being mindful and how most of us struggle to live in the moment. Our minds are always distracted with thoughts of the past or future. Alot of our lives we live on auto pilot and miss things as a result. So the last few days I've been making the effort to focus on what I'm doing, what my kids are saying and doing and generally being more aware of my surroundings. I have trouble with anxiety which can lead to emotional eating so its been really helping to just focus on the moment instead of everything that's been or might be!
As a result of all this I've felt calmer and I've barely snacked today. I have literally only eaten when I was hungry and it was such a novelty! I am seriously liking this new slightly calmer me who doesn't feel the need to eat everything in sight when I feel down.
With my weight loss slowing down I'm also starting to realise that I need to appreciate the journey and not obsess about the end goal. Lets face it there isn't going to be an 'end' because even when I get to goal it will be learning how to maintain and so on. So instead of worrying that a pound a week feels little slow I've been reminding myself that an average of a pound a week would see me at a healthy weight in just over two years which is not anything to be sniffed at. The alternative being a fad diet with quick results but not sustainable or throwing my dolly out the pram and giving up altogether. Hmm lets think slower losses on a sustainable plan which will see me gradually getting to a healthier weight. A fad non sustainable diet which equals giving up and eating rubbish or just giving up because "stomps feet" I'm not losing weight quick enough..huffff!! Conclusion - I'd rather accept 1-2lb a week is NORMAL and its a hell of alot better than not losing at all and finding myself at my heaviest weight wondering why it ever felt like two years was too far away!!
Bit of a long post there but just all the random things I'm mulling over right now. I guess if it helps me get there then who cares how much I ramble on!
Here's to another good week and hope I find it a little easier this week xx
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Birthday
Its my 25th birthday today. I have officially been on this planet for a quarter of a century and its the first birthday that has truly hit me. Turning 18 and 21 didn't feel like big milestones for me but 25, wow I'm starting to feel like I should be a proper adult by now! It makes me wonder if we really do grow up or if in fact we just learn how to act in public. I don't feel much wiser or more responsible than when I was 15!
Which brings me nicely to my weight loss starting point. It occurred to me that I first joined weight watchers when I was 15. Due to my age I had to get a dr's note to join the meetings and my start weight was 14 stone something. (Of course I felt fat long before then but only really had a weight problem from around age 13. I have early memories of believing I was fat when I was about 6 years old!) Now nearly ten years on from that first meeting alot has changed but I still have a weight issue, a bigger one than I had ten years ago too! I haven't achieved a healthy weight once in the last ten years despite countless diets and gym memberships.
In the past ten years I have however left home, lost my grandparents, put on a further 6-7 stone my heaviest being 21st 10lbs, got engaged, had two gorgeous baby boys, got married, moved house 7 or 8 times, lost 4 stone with weight watchers, put it all back on again while pregnant, massively improved my relationship with my Mum, gained a step family, been on several holidays, had 5 different jobs and a whole bunch of other just as important smaller stuff. All of this has lead up to this moment in my life but one thing that remains and affects nearly all other aspects of my life is my weight.
In a bid to change that I rejoined weight watchers for what felt like the hundredth time seven weeks ago with a start weight of 21 stone 2 pounds. It is the only plan I can see myself being able to sustain over the years it will take me to get to goal. I am feeling positive, motivated and commited to losing the weight. I honestly believe this is my time to achieve a healthy weight. I'm not going to let another ten years of my life slip by while a worry about a weight problem I could be doing something about! I don't feel they are wasted years because so much of who I am has happened in that time but I could have been happier and more confident
So I have started a brand new blog as a place to ramble about weight loss and my life in general. I'm hoping it will help me with the lessons I'll need to learn on the way to a healthy lifestyle.
I feel I've made a good start by losing 1 stone 6lbs in the past seven weeks.
So here's to a brand new (slimmer) chapter in my life!
Which brings me nicely to my weight loss starting point. It occurred to me that I first joined weight watchers when I was 15. Due to my age I had to get a dr's note to join the meetings and my start weight was 14 stone something. (Of course I felt fat long before then but only really had a weight problem from around age 13. I have early memories of believing I was fat when I was about 6 years old!) Now nearly ten years on from that first meeting alot has changed but I still have a weight issue, a bigger one than I had ten years ago too! I haven't achieved a healthy weight once in the last ten years despite countless diets and gym memberships.
In the past ten years I have however left home, lost my grandparents, put on a further 6-7 stone my heaviest being 21st 10lbs, got engaged, had two gorgeous baby boys, got married, moved house 7 or 8 times, lost 4 stone with weight watchers, put it all back on again while pregnant, massively improved my relationship with my Mum, gained a step family, been on several holidays, had 5 different jobs and a whole bunch of other just as important smaller stuff. All of this has lead up to this moment in my life but one thing that remains and affects nearly all other aspects of my life is my weight.
In a bid to change that I rejoined weight watchers for what felt like the hundredth time seven weeks ago with a start weight of 21 stone 2 pounds. It is the only plan I can see myself being able to sustain over the years it will take me to get to goal. I am feeling positive, motivated and commited to losing the weight. I honestly believe this is my time to achieve a healthy weight. I'm not going to let another ten years of my life slip by while a worry about a weight problem I could be doing something about! I don't feel they are wasted years because so much of who I am has happened in that time but I could have been happier and more confident
So I have started a brand new blog as a place to ramble about weight loss and my life in general. I'm hoping it will help me with the lessons I'll need to learn on the way to a healthy lifestyle.
I feel I've made a good start by losing 1 stone 6lbs in the past seven weeks.
So here's to a brand new (slimmer) chapter in my life!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)