Christmas

I've had a lovely relaxed day with my lovely little family. Our boys have had alot of fun opening their presents and playing with all their new toys. I have taken it upon myself to stuff my face for the last week and you know what I have thoroughly enjoyed it! I know I should possibly be feeling remorse for such terrible eating the last week but I really needed the break. 

Part of me wonders if its excuses or I'm in denial but I had fallen into such a rut. The more I tried to stay on track the less I wanted to. I'd stopped wanting it, I wasn't committed any more, I was just going through the motions and hoping my motivation would find me again. Despite the huge gain I will probably face next Wednesday at weigh in I am glad I made the decision to take the pressure off. I decided I would not track or worry about what I was eating until I returned to my weigh in on the 2nd. As it happens I am pretty sick of feeling sick all the time! Its been like a little holiday and its been a nice break to my routine, but that's all it feels like to me. Somehow I know deep down that this isn't like the times before, its not the start of a downward spiral and eventually giving up. I miss my routine and I miss eating healthy food.

My motivation is slowly finding me again and so I will be getting back on track on Thursday giving me a full week to find my feet again before my first weigh in of the new year. 

I'm going to break out the cookbooks, plan a weeks worth of meals and stock our house up with healthy food again. I want 2013 to be the year that I turn things around and find a better me.