Choices

Alot of reading I've been doing to help keep my weight loss momentum has raised the issue of my previous on plan/off plan mentality. I was either on a diet or binge eating, there was no in-between I was either eating 'good' food or 'bad' food. If I'm honest its this black and white thinking that leads me back to the weight watchers plan, I need structure. If I don't have a structure to measure my success I lose motivation. I have such high expectations of myself its part of the self hate cycle. I never meet my own expectations so I am constantly anxious about not meeting other peoples expectations of me too. In reality my expectations are set way too high. Nobody is perfect and I certainly don't think its achievable to aim for perfection when it comes to losing weight. I don't need to eat perfectly 'on plan' all the time to lose weight and what I really need to do is break the habit of labelling food as good or bad.

Food is just food, its neither good or bad. Some food might have better health benefits and some in large quantities would lead to poor health. My aim is to get out of the habit of good or bad and accept that regardless of the food I made a choice to eat it. Sometimes I will make good choices that will help me lose weight and sometimes I will make poor choices, I am human it is inevitable that I will make a poor choice from time to time.

I made a poor choice today. I decided to bake the chocolate cookies that my husband wanted me to bake and it just resulted in me picking at chocolate as I was cooking then managing to eat 3 of the cookies once they were baked. It's been one of the few poor choices I've made this week but in a bid to not let this spiral I tracked all the picking and cookie eating. It means I have very few daily points left so have changed the planned meal for a lower points meal for dinner. Basically I haven't buried my head in the sand and let one poor choice become a string of poor choices.

I sat here feeling like a failure for a little while before I reminded myself that it was a choice to eat what I ate and the only person judging me for that choice is me. If I just accept that it happened I can actually do something about it rather than letting it become a full blown binge.

If I can only get this lesson through my head I will be a happier person all round. I am not perfect but you know what that's ok because its only me who thinks I should be!


P.S. The cookies are 3pp each which for a triple chocolate cookies is a good deal in my opinion, just not when you eat 3 of them in one morning!